Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Meeting the birth mother

No, this is not Bill :) But he is still saying he is going to post.....SOMETIME!

We went last weekend to meet the birth mother. We had made out earlier to be at Red Lobster at 6. We quickly found out first hand what others had already found out and warned us about... Marshallese culture doesn't follow the American clock! :) We were at Red Lobster a little early and our translator was actually there already, and told us last he talked to Carol she just had to get the baby ready and then would be on the way. After 'some time' of waiting and Justin starting to get a little antsy he decided to go look for her. In the meantime Bill looked up cell phones, thinking it would be a good idea for Carol to have one ;-) After another amount of time Justin calls and said he had gone clear back to her house and hadn't seen her and her Grandma said she had already left, after confirming we had not seen her either, he headed back. After Justin got back we waited for 'a few' again, and he finally said he thought we should go get some supper and he would go wait for Carol at her house and when she got there he would just meet us at our hotel. Seems simple enough right? At 10:00 we decided to call it a day and tried getting up with Justin to figure out what the plan was for tomorrow... doesn't answer phone or text :( Called our lawyer and he text back in a few and said they were on there way to the motel now. What? at 10? Left Pey in his pj's and we got a little more presentable although not our original all matching, impressive, "first meeting" clothes! :) Our hotel had a big lounge area, with big comfy leather chairs and lamps in a secluded corner that actually worked just perfect for the occasion! Was probably a lot more relaxing than sitting around a table at Red Lobster although a few hours earlier would have been even more relaxing yet :)
Although we have nothing in common, but the baby, we did actually find stuff to talk about till 1:00! I have so many questions I want to ask her about her self and her family etc. etc. but there is a part of me that wants to hold back, because I feel a little bit invasive? selfish? I don't know how to describe the feelings...
We decided to meet for dinner yet before we cam home. They wanted to try Red Lobster again... they were going to church and would be out at 11 and meet at 11:30. I'll let your imagination fill in some of the gaps, but at 1:45 Justin finally calls (yes we TRIED getting up with him 'multiple' times) and said they were at Wal-mart and would be heading our way soon! :-O Yes we did eat at Red Lobster and no in 5 years from now it will never matter, but yes it IS stressful especially to someone who likes to KNOW what is going on and not be left HANGING!! Had a nice time visiting again, and left feeling very glad we had made the time to go see her! It was worth it, stress and all, and it makes it seem a lot more real!! It's so emotional... such strange feelings that one can experience:) When I see this lady with this little bump under her clothes and know that she is carrying MY baby........ I want to give her a big hug and plead with her to take oh such good care of it.. and then when I think of the sacrifice she is making... such love, I can hardly fathom! She very clearly loved her baby and to think that she loves this one too and is unselfish enough to 'let' someone raise it and love it and give it everything she isn't able to provide...makes me so thankful and makes the responsibility of it seem all the more real!
Now just ONE MORE DAY till is will seem even more real!!! She's having another ultrasound Thursday so I can start dreaming in blue or pink! :)

ADOPTION ~ Is a very sacred exchange, It is not done lightly on either side! Jamie Lee Curtis


Once there were two women who never knew each other
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother
Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried you tears
One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.
Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?
Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.
Unknown


Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Still feeling like a dream! :)

I've been wanting to post an update, but not a lot to post yet! It is all so unreal yet and sometimes expect to wake up and it all just have been a dream!! We have skyped with the BM a couple times now and we REALLY like her! She is more of a soft spoken, reserved personality, but is very sweet and likable! We were hoping to find out if it's a boy or girl last week, but Dr. couldn't get baby to move so now have to wait clear till next Thursday!! Some days it feels like March 25 will NEVER get here, but I imagine with the speed of  life as of the last couple years it "will be here before I know it!" (It's better for me to say that than for you to tell me LOL)
In the meantime we are working on getting our international HS changed over to domestic and trying to not buy all the cute little baby clothes I see :) I had long ago given any newborn stuff I had accumulated over the years away. So will be fun to go shopping!
We are hoping to go to Arkansas this month and meet the birth mother and her family... I'm sure it will probably be awkward at first, but think it will be beneficial to all involved. Didn't want our first meeting to be at the hospital! :(
Some other exciting news.. The family that adopted their little Asian boy from Russia the same time we adopted Peyton, was matched last night with a Marshallese baby as well and it's due very close to the same time as ours!! We think it's pretty cool that we will have two of our children adopted from the same place at the same time:)
Have been bugging Bill to contribute here a little so maybe the next post will be his take on it all! :)