A Tribute To The Other Mother

I often think of Peyton's Mother and wonder.. where is she by now, what does her life consist of, and most importantly does she think of her little boy every day?? Oh, how I would LOVE to talk to her, tell her of all the cute little things he did and said today, the milestones he's reaching, the endless amount of happiness he brings to our lives EVERY day!! If I could just tell her how much he is loved, and how her act of unselfishness has blessed our lives beyond words... to you, young lady we will forever be grateful! I choose to believe that somehow she knows... as only a mother can, that all is well with her son! So I sigh a prayer for her again today.
I have been reading this wonderful book, 'A Child To Call My Own' lately, and this story has left a little footprint on my heart...
                                                 A Tribute To The Other Mother

She trudged up the flight of concrete steps, her daughter's small hand tucked in hers.
She entered their two-room apartment, and set her woven market-basket down.
Shopping made her so tired these days, but she smiled as she set a pot of rice to cook
and began to chop vegetables.
A tiny flutter under her heart caused her to straighten, and a laugh escaped her rosy lips.
"Ah, new life," she whispered. "Little one, you are loved," she murmured.
Yes, life was good. But... what if... A flicker of fear showed in her dark eyes.
What if the authorities would discover this new life? This seemingly illegal child in a communist country?
Stories of fleeing parents, burned houses, and abandoned babies flitted through her disturbed thoughts.

The days passed.
Each day, she sang softly to her baby, and dreamed of the good times their children would have together.
And then one day the time had come. A baby's cry rent the stillness of the night... a son was born!
The parents and big sister were thrilled, but their happiness soon turned to fear and anguish.
Something was not right.
They soon realized that their precious baby would need help, more help than they were able to give.
Their baby needed a doctor! "But we don't have money!" the mother cried.
"And even if we had the money, we still couldn't take him to the hospital," the father said.
"The minute we would get there, they would check our records and discover that we have two children."
The grieving parents went through each day, with sadness in their eyes and tears on their faces.
Each day, they discussed their options, and held their baby even tighter
When they realized the decision that lay before them.
Finally after a few weeks had passed, they knew they could wait no longer.
One evening, after darkness had descended upon the city,
The mother bathed her little sweetheart one last time,
And carefully dressed him in a white sleeper.
The parents made their way softly down the apartment steps, out into the warm spring night.
They walked until they reached the city center, and they chose a bench tucked back in the shrubs...
And there they said their good-byes. "I can't do this, I can't!" she sobbed quietly.
Her heart felt like running. Running away from this harsh reality.
Away to a place where mothers can keep their precious babies
She watched as her husband stroked their baby's soft, black hair,
And whispered his last messages of love into the tiny ear.
As tears streamed down his face he handed the baby to her, and her heart wrenched.
She wept. She rocked and crooned and cuddled...
She told him of her love for him and that part of her heart would always go with him.
The baby awoke and whimpered as if somehow he comprehended this parting, this momentous moment.
But then, it was if angel wings brushed the air, and the baby's eyes closed.
The Father of the fatherless was watching over him, and everything would work out for his good.
The burdened parents arose and walked to the place-- the spot they had chosen to place their small son.
Their tears fell on the baby's soft, brown cheeks as they kissed him...for the last time.
They waited till a passer-by had gone on, and the father crushed the baby to his chest one more time
And then tenderly laid him on the doorstep.
Then together they turned...
They turned and with tears streaming down their faces they stepped behind a clump of trees and waited.
They jolted, for down the street past the steps walked a police officer.
He stopped and looked down. The bundle on the steps squirmed, and the officer bent to look closer.
His heart softened, and he whispered, "Another baby," as he gently picked it up.
The grieving parents waited till he was gone, and with their hearts breaking in a million pieces,
They walked away...into the night.... back to their small daughter, the big sister.
Back to where they would try to go on, where they would try to forget.
But her mommy-heart would always remember this night,
The night they said good-bye to their son-- forever.
Though unknown to her, at that very minute, God, the Father of the orphans,
Was already orchestrating the details of their tiny son's life.
And unknown to her, He was preparing the heart and life of another mommy...
Half a world away.

And I, your child's other mommy, would like to thank you!
I thank you for giving me the gift of your son. I thank you for giving him life,
And for tenderly caring for him as long as you could. I cannot fathom the grief, the wrenching,
Crippling pain that must have knifed through your very soul.
I cannot fathom the amount of tears you've cried or the size of hole that your baby has left in your heart.
I can only imagine that this pain and anguish has left you a different person,
And has colored your every moment.
I wonder... does a day ever go by when you don't think of your darling baby,
out in the big world..somewhere?
I don't know if you have the sweet Spirit of God to whisper assurances and ease your pain.
I don't know, but if not, I pray for you.
I pray that you will learn to know Jesus as your Lord.
I pray that God will give you a gentle confirmation in your heart that your son is being cared for.
I will try my very best to care for your son, and teach him about God.
I think of you often...
When I feel my son's chubby arms come around my neck for a hug;
When he calls "Mommy" in the morning when he wakes up;
When his soft lips touch my cheeks with his little-boy kisses...
Then I think of you, and my eyes fill with tears.
And I tell him about his other mommy in China who loved him very much.
Your loss has been my gain. It doesn't seem fair that you have lost so much for me to gain a son.
Why? I don't understand, but for now, I rest in the fact that this was God's divine plan,
And I will love your son as my very own.
Because he is.
I will probably never know you, but my heart is linked to yours in a special bond,
A bond that surpasses time and oceans, cultures and lands...
The bond of mothering the same child.
Maybe... maybe someday
God will put the pieces of our pasts and our futures together, and we will be able to meet.
Until then... I thank you from the depths of my heart for making one of the bravest,
Most unselfish decisions a mother can ever make.

                                                                                    ..Marilyn Wiens..


I found it very interesting that when I contacted the author for permission to copy her story, their family was on a mission trip in Hong-Kong and from there were going on to their sons orphanage and 'finding' place in China!!
Wish you the best Leroy, Marilyn and boys...our prayers go with you!

USCIS... for the record

Just for our own records and anyone interested in a time frame for future reference.
We sent off for our immigration approval on July 10 and received our bio-metric fingerprint appointments today!! Sure put a smile on my face to see an envelope from Homeland Security in the mailbox!  Not a BIG deal really, but is a very important step in the grand scheme of things and couldn't proceed without it so am happy to rejoice and jump up and down with happiness :-))
Appointment  is for August 16, but on our last time around we called and asked if we could come earlier and they said we could come and be worked in, which worked very well, was in and out in 30 minutes! So thinking we will try that again :-)

Proof of exicitement

Just had to share a little 'moment' with Pey yesterday...
He was all of a sudden quiet at the table and then blurted out, "I'm just thinking of going to Kazakhstan to see my little brother!" :-) He had such a far away, dreamy  look in his eyes, and I just had to think to myself.. if he only knew what all this 'little brother' was going to mean to him he might not be so anxious to go see him! LOL I'm afraid we will have some rough days at the first with him being so used to being King of his castle and then having to share the attention etc., but we will all find a way to work through it I'm sure!
It was just a precious moment I chalked up in my 'special memory' place! :-) I LOVE YOU PEYTON JON!!! Thanks for bringing so much joy to our lives!! love you "mostest" :-)

Paperwork....ALMOST....finished!

Just an update on our paperwork... I sent off our dossier for apostilles again today. Had sent them last wk and they were returned because our marriage certificate was signed by the county clerk instead of the Probate Judge! I don't remember reading anywhere that it had to be signed by the probate, so not sure who's criteria this was, but none the less got new ones signed correctly and sent back to secretary of state. Also got a confirmation from USCIS that they had received our packet and had sent it to the Hague unit, so are waiting for our fingerprint appointments now! :)
Have been dreaming and scheming of ways to make a few or rather a whole lot extra money! As we wind down with paperwork and the reality of it all sinks in the financial reality also has a way of sneaking in and testing ones faith if we'll actually be able to have it all come together in the end or not!! :-(

Kaz officials mtg.

We had high hopes of Kaz re-opening before they took their annual break in Kaz, but alas it didn't happen! On the bright side some of the Kaz officials were in Washington last week and confirmed that they had received the post-placement reports and were satisfied with them and also talked with the officials at the 'ranch' in Montana and were happy to hear that they have been licensed and are running legally now. They will be back in office the first of August sometime and are hoping they will make the official announcement soon thereafter!!

Details on process

Since I got my diary all transferred onto here now and may someday decide to make this public thought maybe I'd share a few of the details...
As you know, we chose the country of Kazakhstan (for those of you that were sleeping during geography, Kaz is bordered by China, Russia, Uzbekistan & Kyrgyzstan which is where Peyton's mother is from)
Kaz people would be mostly considered Eur/Asian. With adopting from the city of Almaty(it is clear in the southern part of the country, right above Kyrgyzstan) we are expecting  a more Asian looking child, similar in looks to Peyton. Although there are quite a few Russians that have migrated in, it is a chance we could get a Russian. Wouldn't that be ironic to go to Russia and get an Asian and then go to an Asian country and get a Caucasian? HA
We are requesting the youngest age bracket, which is 9-36 months. Ideally we would like around a year and Lesley has promised to do what she can! (it's not what you know, but WHO you know) think this would apply here ;-)
We are not requesting gender and so therefore are expecting a boy, which if we had to choose would be what we would pick! Pey needs a little brother :)
FYI: there are more boys born than girls worldwide and most adoptive parents choose girls, thus leaving for way more boys available. Which is quite fine with us, think I would much rather raise a boy than a finicky, emotional girl! :-)
Once we get all of our papers finished and send our dossier to Kaz and get it translated they are only expecting a 1-2 month wait for referral!!
Country timeline ~
The first trip is called the 'bonding trip' and it is for 30 days. We will get an apartment and go to the orphanage for 2 hours twice a day, I believe weekends are optional. At the end of 30 days we decide if we will accept the child. If yes, court date is issued.
Come home for a month and then return for court.
Come home for approximately another month while they finalize all the papers in both countries and then return for pickup!! O HAPPY DAY :) Seems like forever away!!

Here's a few statistics for you to ponder...

There are at least 143,000,000 orphans in the world.

EVERY DAY, 5,760 more children in the world become orphans.

EVERY 2.2 SECONDS another orphan ages out, with no family and no home.

Do you have room in YOUR heart to reach out and share your love? I can attest the returns are 100 fold!!!

Update on paperwork

Just a quick update here..
We finally got our HS completed with a few delays and bumps, but it is now in Dallas along with all the other necessary papers awaiting USCIS approval. Also sent dossier off last week for apostilles. Immigration is currently taking 6-8 wks to process, so by the end of September should have everything ready to send to Kaz!!! :)
Should note our little 'detour' last week... Mark Miller posted a situation with a baby to be born July 24. We felt drawn to the situation and decided to apply. Before we could get our papers all ready and sent in she changed her mind and decided to parent her self! The sonogram had shown possible hydrocephalus and she decided she would be the best person to care for it. A very wise decision for a 17 year old! We were disappointed, but at the same time relieved --paradox-- It reconfirmed our hearts are really in Kaz!

7-15-13

Go Lesley Siegel! :)

After a mtg. with agency coordinators and other officials, in which they discussed WHAT could be done to get the two families refusing to send post placements to cooperate, they decided to take it upon themselves to reach them personally. Lesley was able to get through to one family and another agency to the other AND they both families agreed to do what ever it took to get this resolved!!!! WOOHOO :-)
So now hopefully by the time we get our paperwork done Kaz will be open and ready to process dossiers!

HS started and agency chose

We have officially started working with Lifeline again for our HS and have also chosen our placing agency... Across The World Adoptions from California. We had several at the top of our list and a selling point for each one, but finally decided on ATWA with one of the biggest reasons beings they do adoptions out of Almaty city versus a remote town in some outlying region of Kaz. All adoptions are finalized in Almaty and also this is the city you fly in/out of. It seemed very appealing to us to be able to stay in a big modern city, especially for our bonding trip of 30 days! We found out talking to other APs when in Moscow that it was a huge bonus that we adopted out of Moscow. It also eliminates any in-country flights, which my DH is NOT fond of :) So far we have been pleased with Lesley at ATWA and she also seems to have a good team in Kaz which is almost more important!
We are SO excited to be starting another adoption and can hardly wait to see what kind of little, bundle of joy the Lord has for us! With our first adoption going so smoothly and getting such a perfect miracle, it's scary for us to even hope for it again, but we know we can't limit God and need to have faith that we WILL get the perfect one for us!!


4-1-13

Kaz still closed :(

Kaz still has a ban on U.S. adoptions due to the two boys that went through the program at the 'ranch' in Montana. The families are refusing to co-operate and beings both of their agencies they worked with have since closed, it will take some time for someone to get through to them and 'help' them decide they actually want to provide reports:) It is SO frustrating knowing these families know all what adoption is about and they are holding up the whole process of ? how many families, just because they don't want to do what they committed to do in the first place!! GRRR

4-11-13

Back on the road to adoption!

Decided to start a blog instead of keeping a diary as we start on another adventure of adopting again!

Where to start? We had lots of feelings, discussions etc. leading up to this point over the last several months. We were both getting more and more excited and ready to dive into this whole process again, so I headed for the computer and started researching. Russia put the ban on U.S. adoptions in December so we knew that wasn't an option! So much has changed in the last 3 years! :( We briefly considered several different countries, but none of them seemed like a good fit. I called Andrea Jacobs from Little Miracles one day because I had heard Kaz had recently re-opened. Yes it had, and she was very optimistic and enthused about it! We liked everything about the program except how expensive it was!:(( It was our country of choice last time and then when it showed signs of closing we had switched to Bulgaria,and of course, ultimately ended up in Russia, so Kaz has always been close to our hearts. Now with Peyton's mother being from Kyrgyztan we have the extra tug, beings the children would favor a lot. So... we decided on Kazakhstan.
Bill wanted to wait a few months to see how this batch of chickens were going to do before we started any paperwork. Well in our months of waiting we started to question our decision because of how expensive it was and wondered if maybe there would be another country just as good that we had overlooked somehow! Went back to the computer and did MORE research trying to keep a very open mind to any possibilities! Called...e-mailed...researched...inquired about a waiting child from South Korea...joined adoption groups...prayed...prayed...prayed. Finally decided our hearts were in Kaz and everything else seemed second best!!! I remember coming to a peace about it one day and it just feeling SO right :) If God is leading us to Kaz he will surely have a way for us to pay for it...easier to write than to believe :-/
So...now we are setting our faces towards Kaz and praying for patience during the long process and also for our little boy that is most likely already born and living thousands of miles away...
Hold on little one, we will come for you just as soon as we possibly can!!!! Love you already!!! xoxoxo

3-21-13